Ups and Downs of Oil

Oil Story

Pathan doesn't pay

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a Pathan got on. Six feet four, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the conductor and said, "Pathan doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

Conductor didn't argue with Pathan, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened � Pathan got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.

This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Pathan was taking advantage of poor conductor. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.

By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So, on the next Monday, when Pathan once again got on the bus and said, "Pathan doesn't pay!"

The driver stood up, glared back at Pathan, and screamed, "And why not?"

With a surprised look on his face, Pathan replied, "Pathan has a bus pass."

Management Lesson: Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one.

Computer- male or female ??

SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that, in Spanish,
unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

So, a student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'


Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into
two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves
whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.


Each group was asked to give four reasons for its
recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should
definitely be of the feminine gender ('la Computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;


2. The native language they use to communicate with other
computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;


3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for
possible later retrieval; and


4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.


(THIS GETS BETTER!)


The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be
Masculine
('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;


2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;


3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the
time they ARE the problem; and


4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had
waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.


The women won.

Management Course - revisited

Lesson 1:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the
manager are walking to lunch when they find
an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want
to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without
a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my
personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina
Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the
office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 2
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting,
doing nothing.
0A
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the
eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox
appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must
be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson 3
A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of
that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't
got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed
with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and
found it actually gave him enough strength
to reach the lowest branch of the tree..

The next day, after eating some more dung,
he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was
proudly perched at the top of the tree..

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who
shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:< /u>
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it
won't keep you there..

Lesson 4
A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the
ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by
and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow
dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lays there all wa rm and happy, and soon
began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and
came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered
the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

PIZZA deciphered !!!

A pizza with radius 'z' and thickness 'a' has the volume pi*z*z*a....

Swine flu – Prevention is better than Cure!

India is grappling with a swine flu epidemic.There is heightened panic among people following reports of growing number of HIN1 cases and the recent death of a school child in Pune. Here's an FAQ on the dreaded virus:

1. How do people become infected with influenza A (H1N1)?

Outbreaks in humans are now occurring from human-to-human transmission. When infected people cough or sneeze, infected droplets get on their hands, drop onto surfaces, or are dispersed into the air. Another person can breathe in contaminated air, or touch infected hands or surfaces, and be exposed.

2. What are the signs and symptoms of infection?

Early signs of influenza A (H1N1) are flu-like, including fever, cough, headache, muscle and joint pain, sore throat and runny nose, and sometimes vomiting or diarrhea. Like seasonal flu, swine flu may cause a worsening of underlying chronic medical conditions.

3. Is there any confirmation of transmission between pigs and humans at this point?

No.

4. How soon can someone with the flu infect someone else?

Infected people may be able to infect others beginning one day before symptoms develop and up to seven or more days after becoming sick.

5. What surfaces are most likely to be sources of contamination?

Germs can be spread when a person touches something that is contaminated with germs and then touches his or her eyes, nose, or mouth. Droplets from a cough or sneeze of an infected person move through the air.

6. How long can viruses live outside the body?

We know that some viruses and bacteria can live two hours or longer on surfaces like cafeteria tables, doorknobs, and desks. Frequent hand washing will help you reduce the chance of getting contamination from these common surfaces.

7. What can I do to protect myself from getting sick?

Currently available seasonal influenza vaccine does not protect against H1N1 flu. There are everyday actions that can help prevent the spread of germs that cause respiratory illnesses like influenza. Take these everyday steps to protect your health:

· Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it.
· Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol based hand cleaners are also effective.
· Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs spread this way.
· Try to avoid close contact with people having respiratory illness.
· If one gets sick with influenza, one must stay at home, away from work or school and limit contact with others to keep from infecting them. However, if one is having any respiratory distress, one should report to a nearby hospital.

8. What should I do to keep from getting the flu?

First and most important: wash your hands frequently. Try to stay in good general health. Get plenty of sleep, be physically active, manage your stress, drink plenty of fluids, and eat nutritious food. Avoid touching surfaces that may be contaminated with the flu virus. Avoid close contact with people having respiratory illness.

9. Are there medicines to treat swine flu?

Yes. Oseltamivir is the recommended anti viral drug for the treatment and/or prevention of infection with the influenza A H1N1. If you get sick, antiviral drugs can make your illness milder and make you feel better faster.

They may also prevent serious flu complications. For treatment, antiviral drugs work best if started soon after getting sick (within 2 days of symptoms). The government has adequate stock and the drug is made available to government hospitals at the time of outbreak and would be available to you free of cost. The drug is to be administered under supervision of clinicians.

10. What should I do if I get sick?

If you live in areas where influenza A H1N1 cases have been identified and become ill with influenza like symptoms e.g. fever, body aches, runny nose, sore throat, nausea, or vomiting or diarrhea, you may contact their health care provider, particularly if you are worried about your symptoms.

Your health care provider will determine whether influenza testing or treatment is needed.

If you are sick, you should stay home and avoid contact with other people as much as possible to keep from spreading your illness to others. If you become ill and experience any of the following warning signs, seek emergency medical care.

11. In children emergency warning signs that need urgent medical attention include:

· Fast breathing or trouble breathing
· Bluish skin color
· Not drinking enough fluids/eating food
· Not waking up or not interacting
· Being so irritable that the child does not want to be held
· Flu-like symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse cough
· Fever with a rash

12. In adults, emergency warning signs that need urgent medical attention include:

· Difficulty breathing or shortness of breath
· Pain or pressure in the chest or abdomen
· Sudden dizziness
· Confusion
· Severe or persistent vomiting

13. Can I get influenza A H1N1 from eating or preparing pork?

No. swine influenza viruses are not spread by food. Eating properly handled and cooked pork products is safe.


DOs:

· Wash your hands
· Avoid crowded places
· Stay more than an arm's length from persons afflicted with flu
· Get plenty of sleep
· Drink plenty of water and eat nutritious food

DO NOTs:

· Shake hands or hug in greeting
· Spit in public
· Take medicines without consulting a physician

For people who are sick:

· Stay home and limit contacts with others as much as possible
· Rest and take plenty of liquids
· Cover your mouth and nose when you cough or sneeze
· Seek medical advice if needed.

The Nightmare

It was nothing less than a nightmare, for full 4.5 hours, I was like sitting on the edge of shaking hill (could get other apt analogy).
It was a game of who is more lucky and somehow fortunately we came out of it, winner, no no...alive.
A drive from Burhanpur to Dewas, own car, hired driver.
The entire stretch is full of 'Blind' and 'Hair Pin' curves, plus lots of rain, plus innumerable cattle on the road plus the rowdy driver.
Every overtake that the driver did had over lives at stake, no matter what you tell him, couple of minutes gone and he is the same guy again. And it not him only that I am mentioning here, its the entire breed of the drivers on road, that very much includes guys like you and me, who are not the professionals.
There is this unknown hurry to reach somewhere in everyone's mind, I fail to understand what cud be more important than one's own life and the guilt that one would have if there is some mishap (exclude emergency service vehicles here).
There is no respect for the fellow users of the way, its like 'what did you drive on highway/state way if you did not honk for at least a zillion times', goodness.
Just paying road tax does not mean that one owns the road and others who was driving/riding on vehicles of lesser value does not have life.
Once while overtaking my driver got us almost killed, we barely survived. But the point is that after doing that the driver is still tried to make a point that he was right and the person who was coming from other side (i.e. on the correct side) was wrong, as the driver gave him signal and then also the other guy did not stop. For heaven's sake, these people need some special consulting (I am intentionally not using the word training here), I somehow feel they are far beyond normal repairable limits, they have gone far far away from the plastic limit of behaviour/learning curve. And just for the sake of completeness, the other guy was equally arrogant and adamant, he also did not even try to slow down when he saw that someone else is behaving erratically. So its the entire sample space that is sick.

I really felt helpless in that scenario, and after coming back, still thinking on what could be the my contribution which will make the difference, or rather which will at least initiate the change in the right direction...still clueless :-(..

(I have just scribbles my thoughts, couldn't wait to arrange them in proper manner).